


I'm Not Calling you a Liar

by starrypawz



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angst, F/M, Quinncident
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 10:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4098499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrypawz/pseuds/starrypawz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Betrayal comes to light<br/>(this may have multiple parts)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When she’d been standing in front of him, the red blade of her sabers hissing angrily as they left scorch marks again the durasteel floor, the droids behind her nothing more than sparking, smoking piles of scrap, he had thought that would be the end.

She had every right, he was almost expecting it, breath baited although there was probably little point holding onto what was potentially your last breath. He could barely look up at her how could he? What he’d done was…

He heard that familiar hum that meant she’d shut of the sabers, the hilts still in her hands, and he saw how one of her hands flinched and it caused a flip in his stomach.

 _The right one…_ He remembered grimly,  _Her stronger hand, despite the use of two blades…_

He’d programmed those droids to target her right, make it hard if not impossible for her to use both of her sabers…

Shakily, he stood to his feet, clutching at the blow she’d dealt him, with the hilt rather than the blade, a small mercy he supposed although he didn’t deserve it.

“My L-” He began, then stopped wondering if he really had any business calling her that, let alone saying anything.

She didn’t even seem to be able to look at him, he noticed however the clench of the jaw and how her fists still shook.

She didn’t say anything, do anything, she just stood that, and that chilled him more than if she had dealt a final blow to him. He almost felt he wanted her to do that, to yell at him do anything other than what she was doing right now. Rage, indignation, mockery even, anything other than this.

And then, he heard the sabers fall to the ground, the clattering reverberating around them as they hit the dursateel floor, the sound going through him as thought it was a detonite charge.

It was then she looked at him, gone was that mask of quiet resolve she always seemed to bare in combat. Instead what he saw made everything within him wrench painfully as he caught her amber eyes.

Despite the clench of her jaw in an attempt to keep her face an immovable mask that seemed to make her whole body shake with the effort, despite the way she tried to stand as though she was standing in front of some foe she intended to intimidate, those eyes betrayed her.

He saw as she swallowed  a few times.

 

Rayphara blinked, she’d known fear, she’d known rage and yet had always been able to keep a damper on them somehow, seemingly be in control of herself even when experiencing such emotions that would normally bring someone to their knees or act rashly. And yet… now she found herself standing, shaking seemingly unable to speak or even look at him, her hands balled into fists as she blinked again a few times feeling what felt as though it was something stuck in her chest.

She breathed heavily through her nose, and spoke finally, her voice wavering and thick

“ _Why_?” And that was all she could say.

Quinn winced, feeling like he had in fact been caught by a detonite charge or something similar. That was one word, and it nearly brought him to his knees. Of course she knew ‘why’ she was a Sith they understood such power grabs better than anyone, such were common place amongst them she had taken part in several themselves since he’d joined her command.

Maybe it was merely medical. 'Coming down’ from the surge of adrenaline that had likely fuelled her earlier efforts, shock that was also likely owing to the circumstances.

He knew however, it was nether of those as much as he would like to convince himself as he felt his insides wrench again.

“Why?” She said again, “I… you…” She sighed, her voice still wavering, “Was it a lie? From the start?” Sighing again, Rayphara feeling increasingly frustrated with her seeming inability to function at this given moment. This sensation was alien to her, it wasn’t rage, fear or seemingly any emotion she could actually describe it was something else, it seemed to be several smashed together and yet something of it’s own design.

“No.”  He said simply, meeting her gaze.

She crumpled then, he watched as she seemed to fall in slow motion falling in on herself as she went to the ground, she’d looked away from him as she placed her head into her hands. He saw as her shoulders heaved and he felt that wrenching feeling again and it was any wonder that it didn’t bring him to his knees.

Rayphara tried, and tried again but had gone beyond the point of being able to keep what had been threatening to spill over from doing so. She blinked again. 

She didn’t remember the last time she’d cried. Or really if she’d ever had in her life done so as she felt the tears stinging her eyes. She swallowed, a strange sensation welling in her throat, she shut her eyes tighter than she thought possible anything although it was all to no avail as she felt her whole body shake again.

She resisted holding back from that point, it felt as though the entire universe had collapsed around her and although she knew he was a mere few feet away from her at this moment, witnessing this he might as well be on Hoth at this point.

The sobbing seemed to shake her whole body, and was wrenching something within her stomach. Each wound she’d received from the earlier altercation seemed to hurt ten fold and even through the fabric of her gloves she could feel the dig of her nails, her knuckles turning white from the effort.

She felt something else, something almost… sharp and cloying. She was used to strong emotions, they were meant to fuel her but she had developed an almost unnerving control over hers. She was not given to the outbursts that were typically associated with the Sith. This… thing seemed to be cutting at her, pulling almost. Trying to take her emotions and twist them further.

It was almost suffocating.

 _Power._ It seemed to say.

_Betrayer._

_Vengeance._

_It would be easy, wouldn’t it? You could **crush**  him, you are Sith. He’s a betrayer, lower than low, it’s the least he deserves…_

_You can feel it. This is power, you have enough power within one hand to level worlds. He is merely dust under your heel._

She winced, almost as though something was pressing on her chest, pushing on her throat. This felt wrong.

She didn’t want it.

She gasped, seemingly unable to catch her breath.

Then, it stopped, and nothing existed for a while.

She took a breath, shakily.  Sensation returning and informing her she had ended up on the floor, seemingly pulled in on herself. She blinked her eyes red and sore she moved to pull herself up, feeling herself shaking, dazed.  Almost unsure of just where she was.

Quinn stood, seemingly rooted to the spot. She could sense his emotions clear as day. Fear, Uncertainty.

_Regret._

_Concern._

He moved over to her, cautiously.  

She tried to breath, shaking almost as if her body had forgotten what it was supposed to do. Her head light, her throat raw, her mind… fuzzy.

“You appeared to be going through some form of…  acute stress response. What would be commonly termed a 'panic attack’, I believe  you are likely to be… disorientated.”

His voice sounded rather far away and slightly uncertain as if he was unsure as to what she just went through, she winced realising that something seemed wrong with her aural implants… or maybe it was her head this time. She noticed he had 'put on’ that over the top demeanour he had displayed when he’d first met her, the one she knew very well was armour.

She steadied herself, aiming to stand. Quinn offered her a hand but quickly removed it when she glanced at him. She felt… empty.

She stood. Standing was good. Her hands went to her hips the familiar sensation of metal absent. Quinn moved briefly and stood before her, her lightsabers in his palms as he presented them gingerly to her she took them without a word and clipped them to her belt.

“We should return to the ship,” She managed. Still feeling as though she was shaking. Part of her seemed to call for support, comfort even but she couldn’t not from him. Not now. 

She started to walk. That seemed much harder than it should be. 

He watched as she straightened, clenched her fist doing everything in her power to bring back that typical, cool, somewhat detached even Sith demeanour she was expected to carry.

 To the uninitiated she would’ve looked the part, back straight, steps bold, her gaze only on the horizon, her face still. Although he could see the slight droop to her shoulders, a slight waver to her steps, her gaze not of one of purpose but of hesitance and the way she kept swallowing as if trying to lock another outburst down before it even thought of rearing it’s head.

He tried not to focus on the pain in his ribs, that was a dull ache with breath and a stronger one with each step. But it was there, ever present and he supposed in some way exactly what he deserved as he winced.  

He spoke, breaking the tense silence between them although his voice did nothing to dissipate the tension between them.

“Are you intending to inform the crew of this?” His voice hesitant.

Rayphara stopped, she didn’t turn to face him, “They will likely work this out on their own…”

The air between them felt heavy and cloying, it reminded Quinn of the swamps of Taris. Taris would be preferable to this and likely what would occur.

“And…” He wondered if he should even dare ask the question on his lips, his voice barely above a whisper, “Us?”

Rayphara sighed, a sad little sound and turned to face him, meeting his gaze and somehow he held it. The sensation reminded him for some strange reason of being a child. When she spoke her voice was low and he could still catch the waver. 

 

“I don’t know,”


	2. Chapter 2

Rayphara’s orders had been clear. Remain on the ship, await their return, monitor and if necessary come and provide assistance.

Didn’t mean that the waiting around wasn’t incredibly boring. Vette was pretty sure she’d managed to check and do some minor tweaking of the security systems at least five times before now. She also couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

Maybe it was what they called a ‘Disturbance in the Force’ although she had never actually heard anyone say that, it just sounded corny. Maybe it was just a 'bad feeling about this’ but that sounded just as silly a descriptor.

Anyway it was something and the Twilek just couldn’t put her fing-

“Vette?”

She turned the chair around and smiled up at Jaesa.

“Any updates?”  
“Nope,”

“I’m sure they’ll be back soon,”  
“I hope so,” Vette sighed.

She saw the concern on Jaesa’s face that seemed to mirror what Vette was feeling, she tilted her head, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder, “Something wrong?”

“I’ve been meditating, and something feels muddled…”  
“Yeah, I’ve been having a weird feeling, I’m really not sure about this,”

  
But before either of them could speak further on the subject a bleeping on the console alerted them.

* * *

They stood by the Fury’s airlock, baited breath being an understand in this situation. At least for them. It was hard to tell if Broonmark felt anything as Talz were not the most expressive of species.

“We smell blood,” The Talz grumbled just before the airlock opened.

It wasn’t the first time, not by a long shot that they’d seen Rayphara and Quinn enter the ship looking worse for wear that itself was an occupational hazard that they were all well aware of and each of them at least once had been the one to enter through that airlock in such a way.

“My Lord!” Jaesa exclaimed, “Are you okay?”  
Rayphara chuckled, wincing slightly, “It’s nothing that won’t heal,”  
“What happened?” Jaesa’s voice full of concern.

Vette noticed Rayphara was trying to be 'Sithy’ but faltering slightly, “There were some… complications, an ambush,”  
“So there’s no blockade, no signal emitter? We could have just rolled right up there?” Vette raised and painted eyebrow   
“No, and Yes”  
“Surely then,” Vette pointed at Quinn, who she noticed was being rather quiet as usually he was the one to give a post-mission run down, he seemed… edgy “He should’ve seen that,”

Rayphara sighed, “Baras, he sought to impede us, likely destroy use before we even set foot upon Corellia,” She straightened up as best she could, “His deception was a skilled one, but a ruse nonetheless and I do not think out captain had any way of seeing through it,”

“What do we do now My Lord?” Jaesa asked.   
“We shall strike whilst we have the opportunity, make no mistake Baras will pay for this,”

“I suggest we adjourn to the med bay for the moment, however before we make any further plans,” Quinn spoke up, almost hesitantly.

The two of them left towards the medbay, a common occurrence that Vette had witnessed on many occasions. Although she found herself unable to shake that feeling.

She also knew that if she tried to ask Rayphara about what would happen she would rebuff her. Whilst Rayphara considered the Twilek a friend she had a feeling that this was one of those situations where she would not be particularly forthcoming.

“Something’s wrong,”

“I felt… something,” Jaesa spoke quietly, although she knew very well her master could easily pick up on her emotions if so inclined. “Between them, it’s… different. I can not sense more however, it’s clouded and muddled,”

Broonmark rumbled, “Blood”

“You got something to say?” Vette turned to the Talz.

“They reek of blood,” He paused, “Blood of each other,”

“They’re hurt, they probably…”  
The Talz shook his head, and Vette could’ve sworn she heard him sigh in annoyance, “Each other’s blood,”

“What are you saying?” Although Vette already had a sinking suspicion what he was getting at.

* * *

This was a scenario the pair of them had found themselves in more times than either of them could count. After a mission, in varying degrees of success in some cases that necessited patching up. And it was not the first time in which the pair of them had both been injured.

However, usually there was a sense of quiet relief in the sterile surroundings. That was gone, replaced with something else, something almost heavy between them. Normally Quinn would be working with a quiet efficiency which Rayphara could always feel a hint of concern as he checked her over, cleaning wounds and applying Kolto patches and all the other little things a medic had to do in such a situation.

However on entering the room, Rayphara had reached for the Kolto wipes, a basic first measure in cleaning most wounds in which they provides a mild analgesic effect and removed the debris that were likely to gather around as she targeted an abrasion on her cheek. Of course, Rayphara was more than capable of cleaning her own wounds, she did so frequently, usually whilst he was tending to something more pressing but there was something about the way she had reached for them.

He closed his eyes for a moment, centring himself. “My Lord,”

She stopped for a moment to look at him.

“I… wish to thank you, Baras would not have for-”  
“I have not forgiven you,” She spoke sharply. She seldom used a tone like that. Rayphara winced as she tensed her injured hand in reflex biting down on a sound of pain that threatened to spill over.

“My apologies,” He bowed his head. His own injuries were present enough but he ignored them for now.

There was silence for a few moments, “You are valuable to the crew. It would have been foolish.”

Her voice was calm as it typically was, he knew that she was not prone to the bellowing rage that many of her brethren were, and her usual calmness was often the more disconcerting to those she faced.

Although he could pick up on something, that currently she was having problems holding that in place.

“Please…” He spoke up, “Permit me to look at your hand… further injury…”  
Rayphara sighed and he braced himself for some cutting remark, but she was silent as she held out her hand. He worked carefully, gently as he undid the fastenings of her bracer and gauntlet. His fingers gentle as he carefully touched her hand. It was not a break, but yet it still seemed to turn his stomach.

“Rayphara,” He almost didn’t dare speak her first name, but she turned to him, “It’s of little consolation I know, but I am sorry, I…”

“What’s done is done, Quinn.” She sighed and looked at him, “For now, let us just focus on the task at hand,” 

**Author's Note:**

> Personally I felt that in swtor the 'Quinnicent' is wrapped up far too neatly and especially if you have romanced Quinn and just there was to me not enough emotional pull to the scene in question especially since the Light Sided option which I did take was just like 'no worries I forgive you job done' considering what just happened.


End file.
